real sex

October 22, 2007 | 4 Comments

I started reading Real Sex, by Lauren Winner early in September. I was wanting to read it in conjunction with a series on sexuality we were doing at Pathways. The fact that I only finished it last night seems incongruent with how much I really enjoyed reading this book. Maybe I was just savoring it…or maybe I’ve got too much other reading going on at the same time. 🙂

I’ve read two of Lauren Winner’s books this year, and I think she is moving into the category of an author who I will want to read everything she writes. Real Sex is a thoughtful book in that it is just not a bunch of traditional Christian thought about sex touched up in new packaging. She is thoughtful and reflective about sexuality and is more bent on exploring the why than the what…and that’s what makes this book worthwhile. Unlike many books which seem to state their whole point in the introduction and the belabor it, Real Sex was engaging throughout with it’s thoughtfulness, fresh insight, and honesty.

I think what I especially appreciated was something unintentional by the author. She began the book as a single woman, but in the course of writing met her husband and got engaged (and perhaps even married?) So, with that, she uniquely writes as both a single woman and a married woman, and I think it adds a lot to what already would have been a valuable read.

  • Lauren was recently at my church (Jacob’s Well) for a little three-part series. Great stuff for a 22-year-old guy! I still need to read the book.

    Also, how does it feel to be looking up to the Chiefs in the standings? 😀

  • John,
    Lauren will be in the Northwest next weekend, speaking at a retreat for college students in my ministry network. If you know any college students that would want to go, let me know. I’ve not gotten a chance to read the book, but yours aren’t the only good words I’ve heard about it.


  • Okay, so if I return one of your books, can I borrow this one?

  • I don’t know Kyle, but we go to the same church… And, I was fortunate enough to hear Lauren talk on the Sunday she was there (sadly, I couldn’t make it to the Saturday discussion). Anyway, prompted by the Sunday “sermon,” a few friends that I have breakfast with and I decided to read the book (we’re about halfway through right now).

    Honestly, while I find the book interesting — even entertaining at times — I think that a lot of the stuff that Lauren prescribes is based on two things: (1) For the single person, a very realized sense of who they are sexually, and (2) for the married person, a very sexually functional relationship… In fact, I’d wager to say that Lauren is a sexual person and very comfortable being that way…

    Unfortunately, it is a bit idealistic to assume that everyone is going to come from that position… Yes, Lauren takes strides in order to address the fact that everyone is different, but I’m finding little in the way of application for those who are really struggling.

    After all, I’ve got this…friend who… 😛